Margaret, I really do like this President.  He is young and smart… and I think he is trying his best under bad circumstances to do the right thing and create change for good.  Not easy these days… Sort of like  your convincing Howard that  seeing a doctor annually at his age is still preventative medicine.  You’ve both got a tough sales job ahead of you. 

I really do appreciate his trying to reach across the aisle - as they say – and get Republicans to work towards bipartisanship.  But honey, that dog just don’t hunt.  Trying to reach bipartisanship with this particular Republican Party will probably achieve bipolarism instead of bipartisanship.

Harsh?  Well yes maybe I am being a bit harsh.  Part of the problem?  Well maybe that too.  After all bipartisanship requires a little give and take from both sides.  So who am I to suggest that the problem is mainly with the Republicans?

Good questions all of them – particularly because I was the one who asked them.  You know me, Margaret.  I’m always trying to play both sides of the same issue.   Well what do you expect from a woman who invented the all pie diet?

To all my Republican readers out there – I have had quite enough of your nonsense. 

Your party gave us Sarah Palin and George W. Bush – dumb and dumber.  He’s the guy whose mission still isn’t accomplished and she’s the gal who couldn’t handle being governor of one of our least populous states.  Even the “professional” wrestler was able to finish the job in Minnesota.

Your party had an issue with President Obama telling school children to stay in school and study hard.  I guess a black man can’t be trusted with your children regardless of his credentials.    And your party decided the tradition of separating church and state had an expiration date.  You love the constitution but you seem to pick through that document the same way you pick through the Bible – with all the effectiveness of eating corn on the cob through a picket fence.

We are actively involved in  two wars, but you  just can’t understand why the deficit is so big?   Regardless of what you have been told,  every time a bomb is dropped, an angel does not get her wings.  Hint:  Defense spending represents almost one quarter of all federal spending.

Today’s Republican Party has an issue with abortion, but then fights against healthcare reform knowing full well that more than 9 million children lack health insurance.  A stretch argument to be sure, but then again 18 19 Children and Counting is a big hit. 

My party at least recognizes the need for increased access to birth control.  Your party is pro-life right up until they cut the cord and then you turn your attention to electing judges who promote shortening the waiting time on death row.

And for Pete’s sake your party has an issue with gay people, but you gladly send your straight children to war while telling gays they cannot serve.  This one, more than any other, has me scratching my head.  Aren’ t you just delaying their eventual trip to Hell? 

You  actually have Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck as your spokesmen.   Rush Limbaugh?  Are you serious?  Even the NFL didn’t want Limbaugh.  And Beck… Glenn Beck?  When people use the expression ”nuttier than a fruitcake” Glenn Beck is the main ingredient.

The Republican Party of yesteryear was respectable.  You were all about a small government that carried a big stick.  Now you are just despicable.  You used to be the Party of Lincoln and now – honest to God –  you make Archie Bunker look progressive. 

If it wasn’t for Fox News you would be irrelevent.  That’s right.  You have become a party that owes its entire existence to a cable news channel owned by an Aussie.  Your mascot should be a kangaroo instead of an elephant.  After all, the last guy you sent to the White House arrived there thanks to a kangaroo court ruling rather than an election.   He then spent the next 8 years bringing our nation to its knees.   How about sitting down and shutting your damn pie holes long enough to see if the guy in office now can actually clean up your mess.  Honestly, you are embarrassing yourself. 

Look.  My party has problems too.  It’s biggest problem might be in attempting to please everyone, the Democratic Party seems to please no one.  But diversity of opinions is something I am willing to work through.  Bigotry and ignorance is not.  I mean it.  Really.

 Helen, dear, one of the many things I love about you is your ability to see the positive in just about every situation. Now it might take you a while to get there and it might involve scalping a Republican or two along the way, but eventually you do and life is a much better place for it.  Now, could you please just explain to me why my Howard thinks now is the perfect time to get a good deal on a new Toyota? Honestly, Helen, that man will be the death of me yet.

Thank you for the flowers, Margaret.  You always know just how to cheer me up.  And yes, the tree is still up.  This year is going to be one to remember.  I can already tell.

I got halfway through Sarah’s book and quit.  Quitting is not like me, but I figure if Sarah can quit pretty much everything she starts then I can quit her book.  She can’t write worth a damn but she can certainly draw a crowd… then again, so can a train wreck. 

Life is never difficult in her world.  There is never anything to ponder.   There is no thought… no debate.   The world is simply black and white… oil and snow.    Her approach to politics is simple.  Government shouldn’t do anything.   Because doing something would need thought.  And thought is too much to ask from Sarah Palin.  She has other things to do like getting even with anyone who has ever exposed her stupidity.

People like Sarah used to believe in creationism.  But like a 10-year-old who realizes believing in Santa Clause has run its course, Sarah now believes in intelligent design.  The problem with that concept is you have to be unintelligent to believe it.  This is a woman who thought she was being smart when she pointed out that Barack Obama’s middle name is Hussein.  Life is complicated… mysterious even…. but intelligent?  Hardly.  Intelligent design can’t explain the existence of a mosquito anymore than I can explain the existence of this book or her rise to politcal fame.

So, Margaret,  I am done with her book.  But I fear that I am not done with Sarah.  Like Harold’s gas, she has a way of sticking around despite how much you want it to go away.  And I mean “it”.  Really.

Margaret,  Chapter One of Going Rogue by Sarah Palin ends on page 62.  That’s about 61 pages after it should have ended.  It  has approximately 19,500 words to it, but not one of them was worth reading. It’s all pure crap.   If this chapter is any indication of what’s ahead, then it appears Mrs. Palin plans to spend the rest of her life getting even with the world by rewriting history. 

The very first page of the book is a map of the globe as seen from the North Pole – I guess to emphasize the proximity of Alaska to Russia.  Honestly honey, when is she going to learn that dog don’t hunt?  Her defending us from Russia would be about as effective as Todd Palin’s preferred brand of condoms.   Oh yes –  Track arrived not quite 8 months after they sprinted to the courthouse to elope.  I guess Sarah’s ghost writer didn’t think anyone who reads this book could count.

And oh my but did she love to read.  All her life all she ever did was read, read, read.  Too bad somewhere along the way she didn’t learn to write.   And that college thing…  Well, it seems that it took so many years and so many different colleges to get a degree because she had to work so much.  And by work, she means entering beauty pageants and sleeping with Todd. 

She finds a way to reference Ronald Reagan  as early as page three in this chapter – which is supposedly about her childhood - and then mentions him again about a dozen more times before the chapter ends.  Even her Grandpa ate jelly beans and looked remarkably like Ronald Regan.  And Sarah’s favorite words - patriotic, patriot and patriotism - populate her paragraphs like children conceived out of wedlock populate her family tree. 

On page two we learn that sweet little Piper, Sarah and Todd’s fourth child, is  the poster child for the Alaska Right to Life group, but if you ask me, she should have been the poster child for the waning popularity of Jay Leno and late night television.  I guess there’s not much to do on cold nights in Alaska except watching out for Russians and wooing Palins.

Margaret, I tried to come to this with an open mind.  Really I did, sweetheart.  I wanted to believe that there really was something of substance to someone who captured the imagination of millions.  Even Barbara Walters has Sarah on her Top 10 list for the year.   But it’s just not there, Margaret.  Substance.  She has none.  Not even with a ghost writer.  I mean how much respect can you have for a woman who describes the birth of her first son by writing, “Oh.  My. Gosh.  I thought I was going to die…  Had any woman ever hurt this much?  I didn’t think so.”   Is it possible her ghost writer is a man?

But honestly, why am I so nasty about this woman?  First I called her a bitch and now I am suggesting her knees are together about as often has Hillary Clinton appears in public with Bill.   Look.  There I go again sounding like a dime novel.  But her entire attitude and approach to life – the sheer hypocrisy of it all – just really gets my goat.   Consider the following excerpt from the book which refers to a State Trooper who pulled her over for an illegal joy ride on a snow machine:

“It was Christmas Day;  we were out in the middle of nowhere, a couple of kids on a snowmachine up against a big dude with a gun and a badge.  I couldn’t help but wondering about his priorities, if he really didn’t have more important things to do, like catching a bad guy, or helping a poor old lady haul in her firewood for the night.  Looking back, maybe that was my first brush with the skewed priorities of government.”  Page. 18

And that, dear Margaret, sums up my issue with Sarah Palin and so many others like her.  They are so quick to look for the “bad guys” in everyone else never seeing the one staring back at them in the mirror each morning.

Here’s hoping Chapter Two has something worth writing about because I’ve only got a few years left on this earth and I hate that even a few hours are being wasted on this exercise in fertility. Pun intended.  I mean it.  Really.

Hi Margaret.  Thanksgiving went better than expected.  Please tell your nephew that I want  another visit soon.  It was so good to have him with us this year.  He and Harold had a good time talking about the game, and his friend was such a help in the kitchen.  I am so sorry to hear that your sister-in-law’s turkey was not as tender and moist as mine.  Did she try the brine this year like I suggested?  And the butter and bacon in the dressing instead of nuts?  Butter and bacon.  Remember that.  You can make almost anything taste better with one or the other.  Honestly, Margaret, I have never understood her insistence on cornbread stuffing with nuts in it.  That combination would suck the moisture out of a Kleenex.   I just don’t know about you Yankees sometimes.  Stubborn as the day is long.  Nuts in your dressing.  I never…

Speaking of nuts, that dumb ass son-in-law of mine really did give me Sarah Palin’s book to review just like he said he would.  The very idea that somehow a gift to me actually put money in her pocket… well I just don’t know how I feel about that.  The only way I can stomach it at all is knowing that maybe my reviewing it here might prevent a few of our visitors from deciding to buy it to read themselves.

I’ll start reading it this week after I get my holiday cards out.  Surely it couldn’t be as bad as that Coulter crap I read a few months ago.  After all, it has all the makings of a fine novel:  a rags to riches story filled with heartwarming musings  about drilling for oil, raising your children’s children, and getting even with the world.  I even hear the main character is really a vampire.  A page turner for sure…

Tell Howard not to bother buying a copy for himself.  I’ll send him this one when I am done.  Maybe your sister-in-law could use it to stuff her turkey at Christmas!  I mean it. Really.

Dear Family,

This year I am thankful to have you as my family rather than a normal American family.  I say that because Sarah Palin is fond of talking about her family being a normal American family.

Last time I checked everyone in my family knows where Africa is on a globe. Everyone goes to college after high school.  We’ve had no teen pregnancies as of yet and no one has appeared in Playgirl.  If the Palins are a normal American family, I guess my bunch of anti-American socialists are fine by me.

But we have our own issues.   For instance, some of us are Aggies and others are Longhorns.   Which makes for interesting choices for some of you.  If a football game is more important than Thanksgiving, then consider this my last will  and testament:  When I die, it’s all going to charity. 

Thanksgiving dinner will be moved to Friday after all of you have returned from your important tailgating party.  And now that I have made that little sacrifice, I am sure you will all work extra hard to comply with a few rules.

1.  Cloe.  I am begging you honey.  None of that Jello crap.  No one eats it and the garbage stinks for a week after I throw it out.  You and Jello are like Palin and McCain.   How many times before you learn no one wants seconds much less firsts.
2. Jennifer.  Your children are cute.  We all can agree on that.  Your husband’s video camera capturing every runny nose and  bowel movement– not so much.  Keep this up honey and you’ll have one posing for Playgirl before you know it.  It’s just not natural to be that comfortable in front of a camera. Ten minutes of video when you first arrive and then the camera goes back into the camera bag. 
3. Trudy.  If your brother and sister want to come, they can be on time like everyone else.  If they are late again this year, they can eat what the dogs don’t finish. 
4. Rhonda.   It’s my oven and once again I’ll  be using it right up until mealtime.  If you can’t bring something that doesn’t require heating, then don’t bring anything at all.
5. Mary.    Your kid’s dirty shoes and my clean sofa have never met.  Let’s keep it that way.
6. If you are a meat-eater, try a vegetable for your health.   If you are a vegetarian, try the stuffing for the bacon.  Either way, you’ll be cured of what ails you.
7. If I see one grandchild doing that texting stuff, there will be no pie for dessert.  If I see one parent checking email… scratch that – new rule.  Leave your cell phone in your car.  They used to be called mobile phones for a reason.  Now-a-days the only thing mobile about your phone is your thumbs.  Trust me.  Skinny thumbs and a fat ass are not a good look.
8. Jonathan.  How a Republican ended up in this family is beyond me, but we love you all the same.  That said, Reagan is dead darling.   Get over it.
9. I cooked the meal.  Your grandfather paid for it.  You can clean the kitchen and we’ll call it even.
10. Honestly, if you insist on bringing anything, bring some butter.  I go through about 20 sticks to get this meal on the table and I might as well start stocking up for Christmas now.
11. Marshall.  I am sure you believe that your children sing beautifully.  Don’t put me in a situation where I have to make you question your beliefs.
12. Grandpa Harold says if the Longhorns win, the bar is open.  If they lose, the party is BYOB.

Well that about covers it.  I’m almost 84.  I know what I like and what I don’t like.  Humor me and we’ll all have a good time.  Unlike Robert Bryd, when I no longer know which side my turkey is basted on, I will step down and let someone else take over the holiday preparation.  Until then, come and enjoy the meal and the company.

To all my new friends out there, I say this.  Life is short.  Don’t squabble over the little things like Jello and Sarah Palin.  If we are going to fight, let’s fight about the things that matter like world peace and apple pie.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  Harold is doing fine.  Thanks for asking.  I mean it.

Well Margaret.  Harold is doing well.   We have a long way to go, but the doctors say it is going the way they had hoped.  I read in the newspaper today that the House of Representatives has finally put forth a bill on healthcare reform that might go to vote next week.   Evidently there is still much work to be done to reconcile differences between this version and the one the Senate is working on, but it seems to be another milestone in what has otherwise been miles of stones.  I find it odd that we expected instant gratification on something this important.  Of course it was going to take more than a few months to work on.  Thank you for reminding me to read the paper and get off the 24-hour boob- tube news channels.  The paper is just so much more civilized – and you are right - I was getting a bit bitchy in my old age. 

The guy in the other bed has the blasted TV blaring at all hours and on more than one occasion it has been tuned to Fox News.  If this keeps up, they might have to admit me to this damned place.  Even when he does have my cutie patootie Anderson Cooper on, I still can’t calm down.  They make a mountain out of a mole hill or  most recently a hot air balloon into a death trap without giving a moment’s thought.  At least the  newspaper has 24 hours to digest and then report  the news.  Those TV people just get diarrhea of the mouth and then the shit gets everywhere.  News as it is happening is not news.  It’s an observation without much thought.

Here are my thoughts – for what they are worth:

• Even if he got it for remembering to leave the seat down for Michelle and the girls,  Barack Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize is a good thing.   Don’t we want the United States to be seen as an instrument of peace in the world?  Erick Erickson probably had trouble spelling his own name in grade school and Michael Steele is clueless as to the irony of his job title.

• The little boy didn’t get into the balloon.  End of story.  To report anything more is helping a means to an end that leads to a reality show none of us needs to see.

• Sarah Palin wrote a book.  It was co-authored by a million monkeys on a million typewriters.

• Is Jay Leno at 10PM really all that different from Jay Leno at 11PM?  What network executive came up with that stroke of genius?

• The Boston Tea Party was a key event in the growth of the American Revolution. The British Parliament responded in 1774 with the Coercive Acts and the Colonists in turn responded to the Coercive Acts by convening the First Continental Congress.  The crisis escalated, and the American Revolutionary War began near Boston in 1775.   The 9-12 Project, by comparison,  was proof positive that people who watch Glen Beck can’t spell.

• The only person I like less than Rick Perry is Dick Cheney.   What a shame Kay Bailey Hutchison has lost her sense of smell because that is one big pile of shit she just stepped into.

•  Palin having an opinion about  Levi Johnson “selling his body”  is like Roman Polanski having an opinion about Woody Allen’s choice in girlfriends.  Pot meet Kettle. 
   
• John and Kate minus eight equals one jackass and the woman who deserves him.

• Give Rush Limbaugh a football team.  Who better than he understands the effects of massive head injuries?

I get that these news channels have to fill up 24 hours worth of programming.   But what exactly would be wrong with filling up today’s 24 hours with thoughtful reporting on what happened during yesterday’s 24 hours?  Anything else really is just opinions disguised as news. 

Thanks for stopping by everyone.   Hug your loved ones every chance you get. I mean it.  Really.

Margaret, I know it has been a few years since we last made the trip across the pond, but I was wondering if  anyone is still alive in Europe?   I watched a little bit of Fox News this weekend and I’m afraid everyone in Europe might have died from lack of access to healthcare.  What a shame.  They had such delicious food and beautiful art.

I am not sure when it happened but the base of the Republican party either got lazy or stupid or both… or maybe they always were.   It took me only a few minutes of research on the internet to learn that America spends more on healthcare than any other wealthy nation and yet we don’t live longer or have better health outcomes. So unless we just enjoy making health insurance companies rich, all those tea party morons  need to use the internet for something other than ordering their penis enhancement pills.

Exactly how expensive does healthcare have to get before we decide to have an honest, meaningful conversation about this?   Rush is out there talking about how this will keep you from getting your next raise.  I’ve got news for you Rush.  Maybe not for you, but for the rest of the world it already has.  Sixty-two percent of all bankruptcies filed in 2007 were linked to medical expenses and almost all of those individuals had health insurance. About 1.5 million families lose their homes to foreclosure every year due to unaffordable medical costs.  Over the last few years, health insurance costs for small businesses have increased by over 100%.

But let’s not get lost in the numbers.  What we are talking about here is access to healthcare.  We are talking about mothers and fathers losing their homes and their life savings trying to save their children.  We are talking about families helping a loved one to fight cancer.  We are talking about  people suffering with diabetes, asthma and AIDS.   We are not talking about death panels and for God’s sakes we are not talking about Nazi Germany.  We are talking about tending to the sick and the poor… does that sound familiar to anyone?  You Value Voters out there claim to read the Bible.  Maybe you should crack the cover on that one again.  You are so damn worried about who is marrying who and what immigrant is getting the best shift at the Taco Bell, but God forbid someone’s suffering doesn’t come with a price tag…

Honestly,  if I could , I would put the entire Republic party over my knee and give them a good spanking.  What does it say about our country if the biggest debate of the decade is no longer about the two wars we are fighting but rather about preventing children and families from having access to affordable healthcare?  I’ll tell you what it says to me.  It says the Christian Right never really was and Value Voters aren’t very valuable.

Let me spell it out for you:

Sarah Palin is worried about death squads.  I think  she should spend a little more time worrying about getting at least one child into college.

Rush Limbaugh is worried about Socialism.  That’s a big word for a college drop out, but isn’t it  nice when such a wealthy person shows so much concern for poor little us.  I wonder if he’ll spend a little of his $400 million contract and write you ditto heads  a check when you can’t afford your hospital bills.

Dick Cheney has had four heat attacks.  He underwent four-vessel coronary artery bypass grafting in 1988, coronary artery stenting in November 1994, and urgent coronary balloon angioplasty in December 1994.  He has been treated for popliteal artery aneurysms, deep-vein thrombosis, atrial fibrillation, and most recently back problems.  I wonder what his out-of-pocket expenses were.  I wonder if he even cares?

Universal Healthcare in the wealthiest country on earth should have been a no brainer.  And speaking of a no brainer…

Michele Bachman thinks healthcare reform is unconstitutional.   I think Michelle Bachmann is as nutty as a fruit cake.  Or as we say down here in Texas – Michele is one taco short of a combo plate.  She is a few fries short of a happy meal.  Her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.   Her cord is too short to reach the outlet.  The wheel might be spinning but the hamster is dead. 

That woman just isn’t right in the head.   I mean it. Really.

Margaret,  I haven’t laughed so hard since Katie Couric interviewed Sarah Palin.  A few thousand white folks called in sick to work last week so they could parade around the nation’s capital on Saturday and Fox News declares a revolution is underway.  My goodness.  I don’t know which is more sad – the fact that they couldn’t spell half the words written on their illegible signs or that they all left their white hoods at home.  Bring the hippies back.  Their protests were much more entertaining.

Just to give you some perspective:

• 1925 -  Ku Klux Klan – 35,000 KKK members marched on Washington
• 1963 – March for Freedom with Martin Luther King – 250,000 marched
• 1969 – March to end the Vietnam War – 600,000 marched
• 1993 – Gay and Lesbian Rights – 800,000 marched
• 1995 – Million Man March – 600,000 marched
• 2004 – March for Women’s Lives (Pro-Choice)  – over 1 million marched
• 2009 – Obama Inauguration – over 1 million celebrate
• September 12, 2009 – Tea Party Hillbilly Rally - 78,000 marched but only 3 seemed to know what they were marching about.

I’ll tell you what Margaret.  You would never know by watching Fox News that 78,000 racists marching on the nation’s capital was cause for concern.  You would think we were finally winning the war against the British.   Of course, according to Harold’s television set, larger crowds gathered at dozens of football games that day so what the hell do I care.

Let me just say something about the 9-12 Project.  On September 12, 2001 everyone was an American. There were no Blue States and  no Red States.  There were no Black Americans and no White Americans.   There were no Europeans, no Asians, no Hispanics, no Africans…  The world was standing with America against the evil that is terrorism.  The globe was united like never before.  And what did our President do when given that moment?  He told us all to go shopping while he and his buddies planned a war.  And 8 years later the 9-12 project has been reduced to a movement of no Blacks, no Hispanics, no Asians… just 78,000 white people who can’t spell.

But it’s not really these 78,000 marchers that worry me.  It’s the media that gives them so much attention.  Did anyone else notice that when a million Pro-Choice women marched on Washington and 50 nut-jobs stood on the corner mis-quoting the bible, it was the bible thumping nut-jobs getting more coverage on the evening news? I mean 5 KKK members march down Main Street and the news crews out number the marchers 10 to 1.

69 million people voted for Barack Obama knowing full well that Universal Healthcare was a major issue in his campaign.   78,000 people marched on Washington claiming that America has been stolen.  Now I am not an expert, but I have to believe that fancy CNN map of John King’s should be able to figure out that math.

The biggest problem facing America today isn’t the war, the economy, healthcare or even racism.  The biggest threat to America is the lack of news coverage in our newscasts.  Honestly I don’t give a damn what LaToya Jackson thinks, what Paris Hilton ate, what Hillary Clinton is wearing or who Brad Pitt is dating.  And I especially don’t give a rat’s ass what 78,000 peckerwoods with too much time on their hands think about something as complicated as Universal Healthcare.

You know what would have been a good news story?  How many of those yahoos marching last weekend actually have health insurance much less a full set of teeth?  Did anyone bother to ask that question?

It’s not news.  It’s nonsense.  Really.  I mean it.

Margaret, I guess if you get enough morons congregating in one particular geographical area, eventually they will vote a fellow moron to represent them in Congress.  Kind of like sleeping with your cousin – eventually your offspring are not going to be right in the head.  But the idiot parade coming out of South Carolina seems to be getting longer and longer these days.  

From where I sit Republican Congressman Joe Wilson’s heckling of the President puts him pretty far down on the moron food chain in South Carolina - well below  Miss Teen Lauren Caitlin Upton, but only slightly above  Governor Mark Sanford.  Which isn’t saying much considering all of them are behind the Osprey, northern pike, perch, bleak, shrimp and plankton.  For those of you in South Carolina that is just a fancy way of saying they aren’t worth a pile of shit in my book – except for that little Lauren Caitlin Upton.  She couldn’t help herself the poor dear. Everyone knows you can’t be a carnivore and still fit in your pageant dress. 

Folks, let me tell you something about  healthcare and health insurance.  There are a  couple of ways to make a buck in the game.  One way is to systematically deny coverage to anyone with a propensity to get sick as evidenced by past occurrences.   The other way is to spread the risk over the largest population possible effectively minimizing the impact of the most risky.   But there is one way for sure to lose a buck – keep increasing the number of people who can’t pay their bill.   It’s really quite simple.   A public option means insurance companies will report profits using language like “impressive” and “satisfactory” rather than “awesome” and ”a buttload of moolah!”

When exactly did we become so enamoured with health insurance companies that we are now so adamantly fighting for their rights to make a buck off our misfortunes?  None of this makes any sense to me.  The President wants to make a speech encouraging our children to stay in school and study hard and we compare that to Nazi Germany.   Doctors talking to patients about feeding tubes and life support machines has become some secret plot to kill Grandma.  Making sure a woman can get treatment for her breast cancer is unreasonable.  I don’t know Margaret.  What’s next?  Governor Perry and Governor Sanford fight to see which state secedes from the Union first- Texas or South Carolina?   If only…

Someone needs to remind Representative Wilson that he and his family currently have a public option for their health insurance.  And while you’re reminding him of that, be sure he understands that the next time his doctor has a finger up his butt all of us taxpayers footed the bill.  Come to think of it, maybe instead of paying the bill we can skip the finger and just introduce his ass to my foot.  I mean it.  Really.

PS.  Did anyone else notice the look Nancy Pelosi gave to Joe Wilson when he acted out?   Now there is a lady I would enjoy having over for coffee and pie.

Margaret.  I got your message about  Glenn Beck.   Let me just say this about that.  Glenn Beck is a loon.   I mean the man is not right in the head.  And that’s all I will say about that.

Harold and I just got back from visiting our newest great granddaughter in Dallas.  Did you know that there is a billboard on Interstate 35 that says, “Where’s the birth certificate?”   Now what idiot Republican has so much money that he can waste it on that?   Surely there is some charity somewhere that could have put that money to better use.

But even crazier than that is all this fuss about President Obama’s planned speech for school children.   George W. Bush was reading The Pet Goat to a group of elementary students in Florida while planes crashed into the World Trade Center.  Not exactly a bright spot in his otherwise dimwitted years as President.   But hey,  he was the leader of the free world and still found time to read to children.    Isn’t that sweet?  And yet, somehow President Obama giving a speech to school children on the importance of staying in school and making good grades is heresy.

I ask you, Margaret, has the entire Republican Party gone mad?

Enough is enough.  All in favor of calling bullshit please raise your hand.

Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961.  Hawaii became the 50th state of the United States in 1959.   If you have half a minute and half a brain you can find a copy of the birth certificate on line ad nauseam.  I realize, of course, that half a brain is questionable for about half the Republican party.

No one wants to kill your grandmother.  Like it or not,  she can live as long as you like and squander your inheritance to boot.  And don’t come crying to me when you realize how much work there is in taking care of a person who decides to live longer than their body decides to function properly.  It’s not pretty and there is a special place in heaven for those who dedicate their life  to caring for their elderly parents.  Harold and I, on the other hand, have other plans in mind for when our golden years start to tarnish.

If God is speaking directly to your political representative in Washington, you might consider checking their medications.  There is quite enough craziness in politics already without adding a voice from a burning bush to the process.   Could one of you up there in Minnesota buy one of those pill sorters for Michelle Bachmann?  Send me the bill.  Really.

Rush Limbaugh.   Good God where do I begin?  Honestly people,  a third grader has a better grasp of world affairs than this yahoo.  The next time you tune to Rush,  ask yourself one question:  Do you really want to base your entire political opinion on the musings of a college drop out?   I mean even Sarah Palin managed to get a degree - albeit after five colleges and six years.   And for the record Mr. Limbaugh, you fat bastard,  the basic concept of insurance is spreading the risk over the greatest number of people possible thus making loss, when it occurs, manageable.   My God you are a moron.

President Obama  graduated magna cum laude from Harvard Law School.  For all my Republican friends out there, magna cum laude is a Latin term meaning  “with great praise”.  Please turn to your Stepford wives and tell them it’s not something you can order on the all-you-can-eat menu at The  Olive Garden.  And the last time I checked he was the duly elected President of the United States of America and not some pervert registered on a Megan’s Law web page.  You should be honored to have him speaking to your children about staying in school and studying hard.

But even with all this proof that the Republican Party has become a Confederacy of Dunces, somehow the Democrats in Washington can’t get their shit together long enough to pass a meaningful healthcare reform bill.  Mr. President, I ask you this:  If they don’t even believe you are an American citizen, why the hell do you care if they think you are going to kill their grandmother?  Rush Limbaugh was not elected to any office.  Pass healthcare reform with a public option and move on.  Rush will get over it.  Trust me.  He has a pill for that.

Talk radio, I am sure, makes lots of money for lots of people.  Otherwise why do it?   But then again Pfizer made a fortune misleading doctors to prescribe unnecessary and dangerous drugs to the public.  Someone tell me the difference.  A lie is a lie even if you are hiding behind a lawyer crying  free speech.  Come on folks.  Start calling bullshit when you hear it and let’s put an end to all this Talk Radio nonsense.  I mean it.  Really.